Trapped in the Life of a Stranger
by Stuck.in.Wonderland.8510
Summary: "I've been having weird thoughts lately, like is any of this real or not?" Harry grieving the loss of his godfather has become distraught. He is barely alive. It all changes on his 16th birthday.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

"Come on honey you have to let these delusions go," a loving voice said to a rather distraught boy. "Yeah son. There isn't any magic. It's all a fantasy. You've been reading too many RA Salvatore books," the masculine voice said to the boy. "Please Harry, hear me. I am right here," the female voice said again. "Harrison, wake up! Come back to reality," the male voice demanded.

The boy just kept shaking his head and saying, "it's real. It's real. It's real…" He wasn't even hearing what was being said to him and about him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Harry seems to be really sick. He just isn't grasping reality. As it is we are going to have to sedate him so that he's not going to hurt himself. I'm very sorry," another male voice said. Both Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked back at their son and pitied him. Mr. Potter was sad because this was his first born son and he is broken. Mrs. Potter knelt down in front of her son and she slowly put her arms around him and hummed her lullaby as she rocked him. Harry was still muttering but he wasn't shaking anymore. Mrs. Potter looked up at her husband and she saw that he was running through emotions that she didn't want to see in his hazel eyes. She saw that he was disappointed, sad, and angry. She knew that he felt helpless to help their child. It was the same sort of helplessness that she felt as well.

As she was holding her son an orderly came in and knelt down next to the pair and administered a sedative to the boy. Mrs. Potter could feel her son becoming limp in her arms and when he was finally out the doctor and orderly placed the boy on the bed and put him in his restraints. Mrs. Potter was in her husband's arms and she wept as she watched the restraints being placed on her son.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey all its Stuck in Wonderland. Here's the first chappie of my story. I wanted to place the disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter…if I did I wouldn't be sitting here reading great fanfics about him plus I wouldn't be working as a Substitute Teacher. _

_Also I wanted to say thanks for all the ppl who read this story in December. I know it's been several weeks since I wrote the Prologue. I sort of thought there would be some reviews…but its okay. Then I got side tracked with reading…But I got the bug again. Now I want everyone to know I am American…so forgive me if the Potter characters sound more American than British. _

_So here's Chapter 1. Oh and the title is from the song "Hello" by Evanescence. Enjoy! Review!_

Chapter 1: Hello

The cul-de-sac of Privet Drive seemed like a peaceful place to raise a family. There is a playground for the children to play and friendly neighbors to have a cup of tea with. There was relative peace and quiet in this neighborhood. Except on this night.

This night there was crying and screaming that broke the silence of the night. Most of the people of privet drive wouldn't hear the suffering in the cries, but there were two people who were awoken from their slumber by the cries and screams.

Vernon heard the crying and he got up. He was so mad that this freak dare wake him up for the fourth time this week. It was only the fourth day of the summer and Vernon felt that the disgusting freak was ruining it. I got out of bed and headed to the door and he heard Petunia waking up.

"Vernon, where are you going," Petunia said half still asleep. "Go back to sleep Pet," Vernon said as he opened the door, walked through and shut it again. He walked down the hallway to the smallest bedroom and he slammed the door open and he saw the little bawl baby tossing and turning. He stomped over to the bed and pushed the freak off the bed. Vernon saw that the freak was awake.

"What," the half asleep boy muttered. "Shut up freak. Quit your whining and crying. No one in this house can sleep with you being a baby. You damned freak," Vernon yelled. He turned around and went back to his bed and quickly fell asleep.

Harry sat there stunned. He remembered everything he saw. He kept trying to save Sirius, but he wasn't fast enough. He remembered watching the accusing look on his face as he fell through the veil.

Harry looked out his window and could see that it was a new moon. He hated the dark and the night. He hated that he was stuck here in this hell hole that was his aunt and uncle's house. He hated that with it only being day four of the summer break, no one had written him. He felt so alone. He didn't have anyone to talk to about anything.

He untangled himself from the blanket and went to his window and looked out into the night. He couldn't see much, except what the street lights were lighting up. He knew how desolate his future looked as well. In fact he knew that he really didn't have one. He hated Dumbledore. He hated that he wasn't prepared for the fight with Voldemort. He hated that he was the one who had to kill or be killed. He hated that he couldn't tell anyone because that would put them in danger. He hated that he'd been cut off. He couldn't stand the thought of having to be alone in this fight.

He thought about everything especially the 'what if's'. What if he'd just taken the Goblet of Fire. What if he'd listened to Hermione. What if he'd never accepted the letter to Hogwarts. What if he hadn't survived the Killing curse when he was a baby. Even though he couldn't really go back in time and change things like this, he wished he could.

He went and sat on his bed and looked around at the tiny room that he occupied. He knew that he was alone and everything he had to face wasn't going to be easy. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to make it through everything alive. He was so tired of this life. He just really wanted to be with Sirius, where ever that was. He wanted to see his parents and just be able to be happy with them. But if he was honest with himself he wasn't even sure that he bought into religion and the thought of an afterlife. He honestly didn't believe that there was anything after death. He of course remembered what Dumbledore said to him at the end of his first year, but he truly didn't believe that there was anything past the void.

When he was younger he had prayed and prayed to God to let him join his parents. He wanted to be away from the hate and neglect that he faced almost daily while living with the Dursleys. He was dragged to church on Sundays with his aunt, uncle, and cousin; but they didn't have him sit next to them. He listened to the gospels that were preached about. He learned about the beatitudes, and thought that he'd be one of the ones to inherit the earth. But that dream never came true for him. He was still the low man on the totem pole. He still was the family servant. He didn't have a name until he began school. He was hated and ridiculed by everyone that met him. Thus he became rather cynical of religion.

Harry sat alone in the dark of the small bedroom and hugged his knees to his chest and kept himself from falling asleep the rest of the night. All the while thinking, 'I'm doomed.'


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey all it's Stuck in Wonderland. Here's the second chappie of my story. I wanted to place the disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter…if I did I wouldn't be sitting here reading great fanfics about him plus I wouldn't be working as a Substitute Teacher._

_Also I wanted to say thanks for all the ppl who read this story in December. I know it's been several weeks since I wrote the Prologue. I sort of thought there would be some reviews…but it's okay. Then I got side tracked with reading…But I got the bug again. Now I want everyone to know I am American…so forgive me if the Potter characters sound more American than British._

_So here's Chapter 2. Oh and the title is from the song "Going Under" by Evanescence. Enjoy! Review!_

_WARNING: HARSH LANGUAGE…you have been warned…_

Chapter 2: Going Under

Days turned into weeks, and weeks became a month. It had been a month since Harry's fifth year ended. He hasn't been sleeping at all. He manages to either stay awake and exhausts himself to the point of unconsciousness or his aunt slips him some heavy sleeping pills. To Petunia she saw a walking zombie among her perfectly normal family. And this zombie was disrupting her life style with his freakishness. She doesn't care about his health but it is making her husband rather irritable and that she will not condone.

Dudley, being the baby whale of a mamma's boy he was, didn't even notice what was going on. He didn't care either way. He was always terrorizing other children of Privet Drive. He did notice that he couldn't annoy his cousin anymore. He was always teasing the freak about the names he'd call in his sleep and before this summer it would bother the freak. But there wasn't any reaction what so ever.

Vernon hated that piss-ant. He hated everything about him. He hated that the little bastard had to live with him. He hated that he had other freaks coming up to him and threatening him to be civil to the little shit. And he hated that in all of that this little fucking shit had the audacity to disturb the household enough that they had to waste money on him. That money could be going to his precious boy Dudders. Vernon knew that if he didn't do something soon that things were only going to get worse. He wanted to drown the little shit when he was a babe but he couldn't for fear of one of his kind finding out and using their freakishness to exact revenge. Oh how he wished he could just take the little shit out to the countryside and shoot him in the head and leave him there for the carrion scavengers to dispose of the corpse. Yes, Vernon Angus Dursley, wanted to kill his nephew and have a normal life. He didn't only want to kill him he wanted that little fuck to suffer.

Harry on the extreme opposite of his other relatives was drowning in depression. He had managed to keep himself from sleeping and when he did finally sleep he was too exhausted to dream. His dreams, when he so happened to dream, were getting much worse. He still had the dreams that replayed Sirius' death, but he was also being accused of being a murderer and of others deaths being his fault. He would listen as his friends and teachers would be little him and the choices he has made.

Harry often felt like he was falling down the rabbit hole and there wasn't an end in sight. He didn't think he could get any lower, but he was very wrong. He was completely isolated. There was only the letters he sent to the Order, but he never received any from his friends. Even though this upset him greatly, in the back of his mind he didn't mind because he thought he didn't deserve them. He also thought that if he remained close to his friends they would end up just as dead as his godfather. So he didn't even bother trying to contact them either.

Harry just walked around in a fog. At one point he was only able to understand straight commands from his aunt because he was so tired. He was kept busy during the day so he wouldn't get under foot. He was always out in the garden; weeding, planting, watering, mowing, or pruning. He would also be asked to move things. Harry, when he was a little more rested would do more than menial labor. He remembered quite often how he'd often get upset with his aunt and uncle at how unfair it was to be the only one who was actually doing the work. But it seemed as if he thought this was his penitence for murdering his godfather. When he wasn't working he'd sit in his room staring out the window. He would stare listlessly into the sky. He was often given food through the cat flap in his door, but he'd never eat any of it or very little at the most. He'd more or less get really ill at the thought of eating.

All in all Harry was bad off. He was drowning in emotions he has never dealt with before, and he has no one to turn to.

In the dark of Brittany, a howl sounded in the darkness of night. It was a mournful sound. Ushering in both fear and sadness. If Harry could hear it, he'd think that the wolf was howling just for him.


End file.
